Well, tomorrow is my 38th birthday and I have a case of the sads. Why you ask because this will be my first birthday since my Mom suffered her stroke. She is still not talking very well and I'm not sure of her memory. So this will be the first time that she does not call me at midnight or 6 am to singing me the New Afrikan Birthday Song and I am not even sure if she remembers that it's my birthday tomorrow and that really makes me sad. While I don't often receive gifts, having her call me is one of the few gifts that I always receive and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I will call her tomorrow and ask her if she knows what day it is and so I guess, I will update you on how that phone call goes!

Nikki Giovanni was born Yolande Cornelia Giovanni, June 7, 1943 and is celebrating her 69th birthday today, so I am also celebrating her. She is a poet, writer, commentator, activist and educator. Giovanni currently holds the title of Distinguished Professor of English at Virginia Tech University and there are rumors that she will be returning to her alma mater Fisk University to teach English (I do hope so, I'd love to take a class under her tutelage). The only book of poetry of hers that I own is the one she wrote and dedicated to  Tupac Shakur entitled Love.  The books dedication speaks volumes: FOR TUPAC SHAKUR (1971-1996) a lover whose love was often deliberately misunderstood but who will live in the sun and the rains and whose name will echo through all the winds whose spirit will flower and who like Emmett Till and Malcolm X will be remembered by his people for the great man he could have become and most especially for the beautiful boy that he was My...

Today would have been the 94th birthday of Gwendolyn Elizabeth Brooks, but she passed away sadly on December 3, 2000 after a battle with Cancer. Brooks was the first African American to win the Pulitzer Prize in Poetry for her 2nd book of Poetry entitled, Annie Allen in 1950. She was also named Poet Laureate of Illinois in 1968 and Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry for the Library of Congress in 1985. We Real Cool THE POOL PLAYERS  SEVEN AT THE GOLDEN SHOVEL We real cool. We Left school. We Lurk late. We strike straight. We Sing sin. We  Thin gin. We Jazz June. We Die soon. This poem can be found in  The Bean Eaters. 

So I have began the Jamaican Castor Oil experiment as it is said to be a great tool in aiding hair growth. Since I am also using other products, not sure if I will be able to attribute hair growth to the castor oil, but we shall see. The 1st 4 photos are of Lady O, the 2nd 4 are of Lady C. The 1st photo of each set is just after washing, the 2nd of each set is after brushing, 3rd of each set is back of twist and last photo of each set is front of twist. I used bobby pins to keep the twist flat, something I saw Naptural85 do when she was performing a twist out. (you can google her name and you can get access to her You tube channel, she is awesome). Products used: Shea Moisture Organic Coconut & Hibiscus Curl and Shine Shampoo  365 (Whole Foods Brand) unscented conditioner with added  Jamaican Black Castor oil  Shea Moisture Organic Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk with added Jamaican Black Castor oil  Queen Helen...

Sometimes we have to wade through the sea of jerks to get to the pearl of a man that's out there. Keep on wading.. BJ 5/31/02

This is the one I am using for me and the girls, I used: 16 ounces of Unrefined Shea Butter (I purchased from a vendor at the Nashville Farmers Market) 1 Heaping Tablespoon of Virgin Coconut Oil (purchased at Tj Maxx) 2 Teaspoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (Trader Joes brand) 1 Tablespoon of Jojoba Oil (Dessert Essence brand purchased at Whole Foods) 1 Tablespoon of   Sunny Isle Extra Dark Jamaican Black Castor Oil (purchased through Amazon) 10 400 iu Vitamin E capsules (cut open and squirted in container, Whole Foods Brand) I made this concoction to send to my Mother and my little cousin in St. Louis, I used: 16 ounces Unrefined Shea Butter 2  Heaping Tablespoons Virgin Coconut Oil 2 Teaspoons of Sweet Almond Oil (I purchased this from Value City many moons ago) 2 Teaspoons fo Extra Virgin Olive Oil 1 Tablespoon of Jojoba Oil 2 Tablespoons of Jamaican Black Castor Oil 10 400 iu Vitamin E capsules I used more of a few items in this product becau...

Today is March 1st and I've decided to start a new hair care regime and see how much my hair grows. I have been reading about some folks success with Jamaican Black Castor Oil, so I've decided to give it a try. I made a hair balm with it and I have mixed it in my conditioner, my shea moisture hair milk and I will also mix it with water and put in a spray bottle. Another blogger also talked about using Indian Healing Clay as a pre-poo treatment and I will also do that, prior to washing my hair which I only plan to do twice this month, today and on the 17th. I will also be trying the Castor Oil out on the girls, so look for our 1st pictures later tonight.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself Think not you can direct the course of love,  for love, if it finds you worthy directs your course Khalil Gibron

"Knowledge is better than Riches" African Proverb "Ashes fly back into the face of one who throws them" African Proverb "You lit the fire, now the smoke hurts your eyes" Tetela Proverb "The body is earth, when earthenware breaks it reverts back to earth" Ethiopian proverb

Here comes the song I love so much Makes me wanna go fuck shit up Now I got Nirvana in my head I'm glad I'm not dead Blake Babies

Truth and avarice encircle his words like a barber pole Twisted and useless until they disappear in her camisole (good night alibi) Andy Sturmer

To some Black is a state of mind, others say Black is not a race but a color and others feel black is a race and not a color. Who is right? Everyone has the right to his or her own opinion and I wish to state mine. I feel the term Black is the greatest term every rendered in the English language. to be Black means to be part of a people full of greatness, intelligence, positivity and strong minds. Being Black means that I should know who I am, from whence I come and to whence I am going. I am proud to be part of the Race that is labels Black (which is negative according to many dictionaries, but the most positive word in the English language in my opinion) Although I prefer the more Politically correct term of MUTANT WITH AN OVERABUNDANCE OF PIGMENTATION. shautelmarie (year unknown)

Superwoman Can I be your superwoman Be where u need me to be in 5 seconds r less Stop all harm that tries to intercept your path Carry u on my shoulders so u don't tire on your journey Whateva else u need for me, your superwoman to do Be assured that nuthing will keep me from u Cause baby I'll be your superwoman all day and all nite shautelmarie 2001

So back in 2004, I wrote a poem to win tickets to a Prince Concert. Here's my winning poem, WARNING EXPLICIT WHEN 2 R IN LOVE Who told you I was a HORNEYTOAD with a SCARLET PUSSY?  Do you also know that I am SOFT AND WT with a DIRTY MIND and I want to give you HEAD in your LITTLE RED CORVETTE while we drive down ALPHABET ST. in EROTIC CITY? Don't let my ARROGANCE fool you I ADORE you and I want to MELT WITH YOU as we shower each other with DIAMOND AND PEARLS. So lets take this INTO THE LIGHT with ONE KISS AT A TIME. yep the Imperfectly perfect me kicked up the freak meter, so I could see his Royal Badness and it was an excellent Concert, If I do say so myself.

So one of the things I have been doing for the past two weeks is working on making our own hair and body products, mainly because they are so expensive and there are 6 of us and 4 of us need something for our hair, 2 of us suffer from eczema and dry skin so we need something and I can't keep buying things when I have all the tools at home to make them myself. So today, using Raw Shea Butter, Grapeseed Oil, Castor Oil, Jojoba Oil, Vitamin C, Vitamin E capsules and Tea Tree Oil, and Olive Oil I made 2 products. The top product can be used for hair and body (the beauty of using all natural oils), but I made it for body, I used 1lb of raw white Shea Butter,  2 TB of Grapseed Oil, 1 TB of Castor Oil, 1/2 TB of Jojoba Oil, 1/2 tsp of vitamin c powder, 6 vitamin E capsules, that I cut and put in the mixtures, 2 big heaping tablespoons of Coconut Oil and a few drops of tea tree oil and blended to the consistency I liked. The 2nd product is mainly for our hair, I used a few spoons ...

So the Family took a tech fast from noon to 4 pm and it was actually not too bad. I even iran an errand in my car and didn't turn on the radio, so I'm very proud of myself.  So what did I do, well I watched the girls paint some very beautiful pictures. I made some body and hair creams for the family and I went to the Farmers Market and Kroger for some quick errands. These are actually things that I would have done had we not been on a tech fast. The real reason we went on a Tech Fast was because my hubby is addicted to some new game on his iPhone, LOL.. BUt that's ok, he asked us to do it and we willingly did it, that's what families' do, they support each other.. I am just thankful he couldn't find the Monopoly game, because I truly despise playing that game with him and my oldest, Malcolm. So yes this imperfectly perfect diva can live without technology as long as Monopoly is not involved :-)!

Yesterday while out to dinner with my husband, I overheard some folks saying Whitney Houston was dead. They were young, so I figured just some crazy internet rumor, after all I had just seen pictures of her a Pre-Grammy Party having a blast and looking good, so this couldn't be true. Well they kept talking about it, mentioned media takeout and well, they are not a source of news. So despite not wanting to be on my phone during my dinner date with my husband, I asked if I could see what they were talking about and he said ok. Well as soon as I picked up my phone, I had a text from a good friend with the news, so I went to Facebook and Witches Brew and low and behold it was true.. Again, I was just in disbelief, I mean really the pictures that I had just saw of her showed a happy woman who partied a little to hard, but not knocking at death's door, so what in the world happened. After reading as many posts about the news on Facebook and watching a little bit of CNN after returni...

So the news is saying that Don Cornelius was found dead of an apparent suicide. Well before we begin to judge, let me just say this, been there, done that. Yes I just said that I too contemplated suicide, when I was in 7th grade. No I wasn't being teased, I was just really upset with my life, my mother and our living situation and I guess some childhood things (that are a post, I'm not quite ready to write yet) were just becoming all too overwhelming for me and I felt like maybe if I were gone, My mom would appreciate me more. Yes in the end, my suicide attempt was about my mother when it all boiled down too it. So i took some pills and nothing happened, it was obvious that   God had other plans for me so I'm still here.  I also don't take medication unless I absolutely have too because of this incident. Afterwards, I spoke to my counselor at school and I moved forward and starting living my life, yep still made a few mistakes but I never thought again that ending my ow...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qbzo9DnAqA&feature=fvwrel This song gives me chills every time I hear it and the scene from the movie is one of my favorites. #teamLOVE

Ok, so why did I start this blog and not talk about myself first? The first thing I talked about was my alma mater, guess you know that means I highly value  education. Me: married to Dusty for 7 years and going strong Malcolm my oldest from a previous relationship is "gasp", 15 Dusty is 6 Olivia 4 Charlotte 3 So yea, I"m busy. I am a SAHM (stay at home mom for those not in the know) and have been for the past 7 years, while it was fun in the beginning, I'm ready to move on to something else, what I don't know but I need some extracurricular activities that don't involve, snacks, juice boxes, potty breaks, breaking up fights, driving all around town, etc... Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a SAHM, but at times, I feel bad that I am not using that degree that I earned and still owe money for from Howard. Granted I have no desire to work in the field of psychology, but I'd still like to use the fact that I have a degree that I earned with the...

While I think this is an excellent program  to fundraise for schools, I still have my issues. Most school have competitions for which class and/or person collects the most. Well when the same kids win, who is really winning? I don't buy very many products that have boxtops simply bc most of the food products are high in fat, sugar and basically unhealthy ingredients. See my motto is 10 or less ingredients and I should be able to read them and understand them without Websters.  Now I do collect some from products such as Paper Towels, ziploc containers and several Cascadian Farms products, but not enough for any of my children to ever win the prize for collecting the most. But it's ok, since My kids know they are winners in my book and that's all that matters in this imperfectly perfect diva's life.

So, I discovered a while ago that I have an eating disorder. Actually, I like most have know for a long time but was just in denial. Remember admittance is the first step. No I'm not anorexic or bulimic in fact I'm not sure what you call my disorder. What I know is that I eat when I'm upset, lonely or depressed. Wait, don't we all do that, well to an extent yes, but you see it's not healthy. When I overindulge in food because of my mood, it's rarely healthy food and it's also usually very late at night ( I have insomnia when my husband is gone, another blog), which is bad because my body is just storing up all the fat and calories that I have eaten. I have tried on occasion to eat an apple, trail mix or pecans or other nuts in an effort to "healthy" eat, but when I feel this way I crave sweets. So not good. So in an effort to curb this, I have been brushing my teeth (i'm kinda anal about eating after brushing) and I have "banned" swe...

Awe, A Black woman's hair, well this Black woman's hair anyway, is a mystery. As I attempt to care for my hair and that of my 2 daughters, I'll occasionally blog about it. I'm trying something new, it's called the L.O.C method (Lotion, Oil, Conditioner). So look for pictures and a longer blog about my glorious hair, hopefully tomorrow.. We shall see if that pans out, maybe I should say Friday.

Fall of my senior year in high school, I had to decide which colleges I was going to apply to and I chose 5: NYU, Emory, Spelman, Tennessee State and Howard. While NYU was my first choice, I mean who doesn't want to live in NY, it was just too expensive and as a first-generation college student, there was no money to help with expenses and working 2 jobs plus going to school was not in my plan. Emory was next because, well I wanted to live in Atlanta after all it was the NY of the South, but several of my high school classmates were accepted to Emory and I really didn't want to be around anyone from high school, not because I didn't like them but because I really wanted to start fresh. I truly had no preference between Spelman, TSU and Howard, but TSU was knocked out of the running when I was told that they were going through a lot of changes and it might not be a good fit for me, so that bumped them off the list. So it was between Spelman and Howard, both of which I visite...